What do you do when someone (family, friend, stranger, etc.) informs you that they have a problem with you? Do you get mad, sad, updset, disappointed, angry, curious, or do simply ignore them? What if someone told you that any negative feeling or emotion in this case is absolutely unjustified, would that raise your curiosity to learn more?
Many people experience negative feelings when they are told "I have a problem with you" simply because what resonate most is the expression "... with you". Apparently, it associates "you" in the "problem". Would you feel the same if the same person said "I have a problem" instead?
Whether the person says "I have a problem" or "I have a problem with you" or they have a problem with anyone/anything else, the basic fact is that the problem in question is within them and not you. It is human nature to always find problems elsewhere but with self. We - human beings - like to point fingers, complain, blame, or shit attention and responsibility away because it is easier. The path of least resistance is our favorite. We like to place ourselves on an artificial pedestal and look at others from above, therefore our suffering is due to others' fault. When they change, our sufferings will cease hence the need to get them involved in a problem that is ours. We do so by telling them that we have a problem with them.
The next time someone says they have a problem with you pay attention because they are simply informing you that they have a problem. A problem can only bother those wo bear it. Liars are bothers by lies and other liars just like them. Someone who is genuinely honest will never willingly associate with liars. The need for lying is incomprehensible for them. Everyone has witnessed this reality with young children who genuinely say things how they see it. If someone has a problem, the best thing they can do is to work on the solution themselves from within. They can and should ask for help when it becomes necessary. In that case they should clearly state that they have a problem and they would like you to help.