I Failed My Children by Being Black in America
"Maddie and Gabby are sad. Don't Leave Us!" These are the gut-wrenching and heart twisting words a father who is being accused of violence against his own children has to read. Any reasonable human being would think that my children would be happy to know that I am out of their lives if I was violent as I am being wrongfully accused. One despicable individual accused me of being violent against them, and they failed miserably. Unfortunately they chose to use the same tactic on my daughters who now have to grow up without the presence of their father.
It is with the deepest pain and sadnessthat I was reading these words, "Daddy don't leave us, Gabby and Maddie are sad". The simple fact that those who claim to act "in the best interest of my daughters" straighten their African Kinky hair proves that I failed them for not genetically giving them the straight hair as that of white folks. I failed my daughters for blindly believing that almost losing my life while serving in the US Army translated into fighting for a country with real Justice.
I was accused of some of the most grotesque immoral actions. Alone against my accuser, an entourage of supporters, and a lawyer I proudly defended myself, my name, and that of my children in court. My victory was a bitter pill to swallow by my accusers since it also translated to losing the material possessions we shared. Blindsided by shame, anger, and revenge, they attacked my own children by accusing me of being a violent father since such accusations didn't work for themselves. This ignoble unfounded accusations are evidence to me that I was no longer dealing with normal human beings but creatures of darkness. It reminded me of animals who eat their own cubs just for their own sake and survival. This move for me was lower than dirt so I refused to descend that low. I gave up everything, chose not to engage or respond to further attacks, lies, and slander believing that our Judicial Institutions will protect my children by seeking nothing but the truth. I was wrong!
I failed my children by not having power or social privileges. I forgot that institutions are represented by human beings with their own self-interests and biases. Without presenting a single piece of evidence against my parenting skill, my daughters were given a limited access to their black father depriving them with the necessary fatherhood. They asked me to take classes on parenting without indicating what shortcoming such class is supposed to address. Meanwhile everyone is happily submitting hefty invoices for "serving the best interests of my children". Ah...cheap labor a slavery come in different shapes and forms!
I failed my children by being broke. Being retired is clearly not enough money to satisfy their unquenchable thirst for money and greed. This experience has made me understand clearly that America was truly built on the back of slavery, greed, and cheap labor. When I asked them how they expect me to satisfy their constant and exorbitant financial demands, I am told to go figure it out. When their power of extorsion doesn't timely yield the money they are after, they threatened me with jail time. I keep asking for evidence of my poor parenting, a formal independent investigation, but they keep ignoring it my requests. Why are they so afraid of the truth? They don't even want to see an unsollicited testimony from a first hand witness regarding mutliple years of interactions with my children.
I failed my children by enabling them to be born in this life with brown skin. Exhausted, broke, and powerless, I could no longer participate in this morbid exercise where my children are clearly being held hostage. I have no money to keep paying for their ransom. I thank my friends and family who pitched in the last time for me to avoid jail time but it is just not right for other to keep paying this ransom. Because it is clear to me that my participation and compliance with this ransom scheme is a direct enabler, I had to make the hardest decision in my life. Relinquish my placement and custody rights. Unfortunately, that is not enough for my executioners because not only do they want money, but they want it now, they can't and don't want to wait, and I don't have any.
My heart bleeds profusely on both sides. If there was any independent evidence of wrongfulness from my parenting skill, those could easily be addressed. I am confused and lost of words. I can't even find the right word for myself as the one I offered to comfort my countless Lyft and Uber passengers in times of sorrow. Yes, they won, unfortunately the loser in this case is not me, but my daughters. I am a grown-up man who can deal with pain and hardships like many others who look just like me. Whenever you are ready to come get me, rest assured that I will not give the people in uniform an opportunity to make me another statistic by "resisting". I know their tactics far too well. As I said, ultimately, time is always on the side of the truth, it will come to light one day, and my children will get the Justice they longed for.
I guess the American Addiction for injustice is too deep to the point of non-return. When an institution that claims to render justice can't event show one simple piece of evidence of wrongdoing before depriving innocent children from the presence of their father, you know that this nation is lost. Those entrusted to seek the truth prefer staying in their comfortable offices asking both the accuser and accused individual for names of the people they should interview as opposed to following the cold hard facts wherever they may lead. After several months of the so-called "investigation', they arbitrarily restricted the kids access to their father to six hours a week without justifications. When it is brought to their attention that their recommendation shows a bias consistent with the results of a study showing that men, primarily black men are disproportionately denied custody of their children, then and only then do they start running around like a chicken with their head cut-off claiming that their are not racist. As opposed to defending their six hours recommendation, they proceeded to modify it to an overnight stay just because they were caught red-handed and are trying to prove that they are not racists. Meanwhile they keep claiming to be acting in "the best interests of the children" while getting paid for screwing little children over. You can claim as loud as you want that you are not racist, but actions speak louder than words. The wisdom says to recognize a man through their actions.
To my beloved daughters, you are truly the loves of my life. I am sorry for failing you by being black, without money, power, or privileges. I needed you to know this directly from me, just in case something was to happen to me and you never have to see me again. If anyone tries to say something negative about me, remember that there are first hand witness account of not only my parenting skills, but my personal, professional, moral, and ethical standards. Here a testimony from one your nannies wishing me a Happy Father's day. I love you now and forever... Your Daddy!