I Failed My Children by Being Black in America


"Maddie and Gabby are sad. Don't Leave Us!" These are the gut-wrenching and heart twisting words a father who is being accused of violence against his own children has to read. Any reasonable human being would think that my children would be happy to know that I am out of their lives if I was violent as I am being wrongfully accused. One despicable individual accused me of being violent against them, and they failed miserably. Unfortunately they chose to use the same tactic on my daughters who now have to grow up without the presence of their father.

It is with the deepest pain and sadnessthat I was reading these words, "Daddy don't leave us, Gabby and Maddie are sad". The simple fact that those who claim to act "in the best interest of my daughters" straighten their African Kinky hair proves that I failed them for not genetically giving them the straight hair as that of white folks. I failed my daughters for blindly believing that almost losing my life while serving in the US Army translated into fighting for a country with real Justice.


I was accused of some of the most grotesque immoral actions. Alone against my accuser, an entourage of supporters, and a lawyer I proudly defended myself, my name, and that of my children in court. My victory was a bitter pill to swallow by my accusers since it also translated to losing the material possessions we shared. Blindsided by shame, anger, and revenge, they attacked my own children by accusing me of being a violent father since such accusations didn't work for themselves. This ignoble unfounded accusations are evidence to me that I was no longer dealing with normal human beings but creatures of darkness. It reminded me of animals who eat their own cubs just for their own sake and survival. This move for me was lower than dirt so I refused to descend that low. I gave up everything, chose not to engage or respond to further attacks, lies, and slander believing that our Judicial Institutions will protect my children by seeking nothing but the truth. I was wrong!


I failed my children by not having power or social privileges. I forgot that institutions are represented by human beings with their own self-interests and biases. Without presenting a single piece of evidence against my parenting skill, my daughters were given a limited access to their black father depriving them with the necessary fatherhood. They asked me to take classes on parenting without indicating what shortcoming such class is supposed to address. Meanwhile everyone is happily submittin